Chapter One: What Comes from Tragedy
Ever since I was little I've known tragedy. I've known it since before I was even born. I knew it
before I was a thought in my parents’ life. I saw it in spirit as my mom and
dad grieved for my brother Charlie, and in person as they wept for the grandparents
I will never know. Tragedy is a part of everyday life, everyone experiences
tragedy, but I know it. And it makes
me who I am and who I will someday become. Believe it or not, I will be a
better person because I know tragedy.
------
“Adeline Margaret, get
your butt downstairs right now! I’m not going to say it again! You’ll be late
for school!” My mother’s voice echoed up the stairs but I didn't hear it.
I was sitting on my bed
reading a book like I do every morning. I wasn't with the real world, but
instead lost in the fantasy world of a book.
“Addie?” Dad poked his
head into the bedroom.
I slowly closed the
book and rejoined the real world. “Hm?” I looked at my dad and then at the
clock. “I’m coming.” I grumbled as I slid off my bed. This was my least
favorite part of the day. Going to school. Why couldn't I just sit at home and
read all day? Instead of having to sit in a classroom with a bunch of children while we learned useless
things.
“Dad?”
“Yeah hon?”
“Can you and mom please home-school me? I’m much too
advanced for the third grade!” I dramatically sighed.
Dad chuckled. “This is
only the second week of school. How do you know you’re too advanced for it?”
“I read at a faster
rate than the other children! Plus I
can already write in cursive! PLUS the teacher always goes too slowly and I
just read ahead anyway. It’s pointless for me to be there.”
“Kiddo, there’s a lot
more to school than reading you know? You have math and science and even social
studies.”
“Yeah, but I don’t need
that for what I’m going to do in life. Leave that to the other children.”
Dad stared at me
quizzically and then finally asked, “Why do you keep saying children like
that?”
“Because that’s what
they are. Little nasty children who
know nothing about the real world.”
“Addie, you’re eight
years old? Where do you come up with these things?” Dad laughed and started
walking down the stairs.
I shrugged my shoulders
even though his back was to me and followed him down the steps.
“Also, I hope you don’t
think all children are nasty. What happens when your little brother gets here?
Will you think he’s nasty too?” Dad asked jokingly.
I saw mom turn towards
me and smile, her big belly ballooning out from under her pajama shirt. “Nah,
I’m sure I can teach him the necessary skills it takes in order to be wonderful
like me.” I smiled at my parents and took a seat at the table in front of the
bowl of cereal mom had just set down.
“Well I’m sure he’ll
enjoy that.” Mom said smiling as she waddled back to the kitchen.
I knew she was worried
that I wouldn’t be accepting of the baby, but I really didn’t care. It was
neither a plus nor a minus that we would be adding another body into this
household. Well, ok, I guess there was one positive thing; Mom and Dad had used
some of the money that Grandma and Grandpa gave them – the Grandma and Grandpa
that are dead. Not the ones that I see on the weekends! – to redo the entire
house before the baby got here. Which is good because I got a new room. And new
books! And a new spot just for me to sit and read! So that was a plus.
“Adeline?” Mom’s voice
cut through my thoughts and I looked up from my cereal that was quickly
becoming soggy. She was sitting across the table from me just staring.
“What?”
“I asked if you weren’t
hungry since you have just been staring at your cereal.” She looked at me with
concern and then shot a quick glance in Dad’s direction. I could see him shrug
out of the corner of my eye.
“No, I guess I’m not.
I’m just going to wait for the bus.” I stood up and gave both of my parents a
kiss before I walked out of the house. “Bye. Love you.” I called as I pulled
the door shut behind me.
I tend to get lost in
my thoughts. It happens multiple times a day and I think it gets me into a lot
of trouble. Especially with my teachers. They hate it when you stop paying
attention. But I think it worries my parents more than it upsets them, even
though it’s really nothing to worry about. I just don’t think they understand
how boring normal life is. It’s much more exciting in my mind!
------
See what I mean? My
thoughts are getting me in trouble! “Sorry.” I mumble and sit up straighter to
look like I’m actually paying attention. I seriously hate school. Like I told
dad, it’s pointless for me to be here. At least in this class. It’s like for
slow kids or something.
“Addie!” My best friend
Avery whispered my name. I turned to look at her. “You better stop doodling or
Mrs. Crumplebottom will make you stay late after school again!”
I smiled at her as a
way of saying thanks and then put down my pencil. I hadn’t even realized I was
drawing random scribbles all over my math worksheet. I guess my hands hate math
too! I laughed at my own childish joke and this time really listened to what
Mrs. Crumplebottom was trying to teach us.
The class never seemed
to end.
------
Mom picked me up from
school that day and started right in on the normal small talk between a mother
and her daughter. “How was school?”
“Fine.”
“Did you learn
anything?”
“No.”
Mom laughed, “You
always say thaaaaa! Oooh!”
I snapped my head in
her direction wondering why she yelled. “Mom? Are you ok?”
Her face was all
scrunched up and her knuckles were white as she gripped the steering wheel
harder. Soon we were pulled over on the side of the road. When the car was in
park she seemed completely fine again.
“Oh boy.” She let out a
sigh mixed with a small laugh.
“What? What’s wrong?” I
was starting to panic. Why did we stop? Why did she look like she was in pain?
Then I understood.
Because I am smart for my age. My little brother was on his way.
“Sweetie,” she handed
me her cell phone. “Will you call your father and tell him to meet us at the
clinic?”
I nodded and took the
phone from her hand and proceeded to punch in my dad’s number.
------
Luckily the birthing
center where mom wanted to have my brother was walking distance from where we
stopped the car – one of the perks of living in a small town – so we didn’t
need to call an ambulance or anything like that.
Dad arrived shortly
after we got there and went into the room with Mom. Which I was happy about
because I didn’t want to have to be the one to hold mom’s hand! I’ve seen
enough movies to know that the moms having babies get really mad at the dad
and squeeze their hand, sometimes it even breaks! I hope dad’s hand is ok…
“Addie? Would you like
to come meet your baby brother?” Nelly, mom’s midwife poked her head out of the
doorway and motioned for me to come in the room.
“Are you sure it’s safe
now? Mom’s not going to be screaming or anything right?” I asked as I stood up
from my chair.
Nelly laughed and shook
her head, “No your mom is pretty tired, I don’t think she’ll be doing any
yelling.”
When I walked into the
room I spotted mom and dad in the far corner by the window. Mom was in the rocking
chair holding my brother in a blue blanket and my dad was on the sofa next to
her. They both looked up and smiled at me.
“Come here Addie.” Dad
patted the cushion next to him so I walked over and sat down. “Do you want to
hold your brother?”
“Um, not yet. I don’t
even know his name!”
Mom and Dad both
laughed and then Mom got up and carefully placed the baby in my arms as she
said, “Addie, we’d like to introduce you to Nathan Alexander Gray.”
Dad helped me cradle
Nathan and I said, “Alexander! That was Grandpa Ainsley’s name!”
Dad nodded his head and
Mom smiled at me with sad eyes. “That’s right, Nathan is named after my
father.”
“Cool!” I said as I
wrapped my arms tighter around my little brother. “He’s so small! And warm!” I
was fascinated by this small human I was holding. I felt something else too,
like we had a special connection. It was going to be us against the world. I
was sure of it.
I smiled at Nathan,
gave him one more squeeze and then handed him to Dad.
I don’t know how long
we sat there on that couch but I didn’t care, it felt so right. Dad, Mom,
Nathan and I. Our perfect little family.
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