Ch. 11: What Lies Within Us

Chapter Eleven: What Lies Within Us

"Addie, breakfast is ready!" Lydia calls from the kitchen.

I close my laptop and begin to walk towards the kitchen when I notice my old journal laying among some books on the bookshelf. Our packing this week must have helped it resurface. Its cover is faded from years of use and is covered in a thin layer of dust.

I feel a momentary pang of guilt rush through my body as I realize how long it's been since I wrote it in. It's just a notebook, Addie. I think to myself, but I still feel a bit sad for neglecting it for so many years now. 

"Hey, you alright?" Avery catches my eye as she skips down the stairs. "You look really bummed and today is not the day to be bummed!"

I smile, "Yeah, no I'm fine. Just getting sentimental thinking about my journal I guess. You know I haven't written in it since freshman year?"

"That seems like just yesterday!" She shakes her head in amazement.

"It really does" I agree. "I can't believe that was three years ago now!"

"I can't believe we're graduating from college this afternoon!"

"And I can't believe you guys aren't in the kitchen eating my pancakes that I slaved away to make!" Lydia pokes her head into the living room.

I smile at her, "We're coming. Don't get yourself all worked up."

The three of us sit down at our little table and pass around a steaming plate of pancakes. 

"I can't believe it either, by the way." Lydia mumbles through a mouthful of food.

"Huh?" Avery questions

"I can't believe we're graduating today. I honestly never thought this day would come. But you know what? I'm glad I made it. And I'm extremely grateful that I get to experience this with my two best friends."

"Aw, Lyd!" 

"Alright, now. No getting all soft on me. I was counting on you to be our rock and keep me from crying". Avery shoots Lydia a mock-glare.

"I'm not getting soft. I've just been thinking a lot this morning about all the great times we've had. Like, remember when we first moved in here?"

------

The crisp fall air settles around Avery, Lydia, and I, as we stand in front of what will be our home for the next few years. A new school year has begun. Our sophomore year is here and we've just rented a house a block from campus. 

We were lucky to find something so nice this close to campus and I know we're all really excited to be living together. We came up a week ago to set up the house and unpack everything and today we are finally moving in for the year. 

My room is the only room downstairs and it's right off the kitchen, but it has it's own bathroom. 

Avery and Lydia's rooms are upstairs and Lyd even has a little nook in her room for her easel. 

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"That seems like just yesterday, too" Avery remarks. "I love this little place though. I'm going to miss it when we leave. Remember sophomore year when we thought it'd be a great idea to rake up all the leaves and then play in the pile?"

I laugh, recalling the incident. "Yeah, and then we made an even bigger mess of the yard but got too tired to finish and Jack ended up coming over and doing it for us."

"I love that kid." Lydia laughs.

"Yeah me too." I blush when the words leave my mouth. Even though we've been dating for three years now, and Lydia and Avery know that I love him, I still get shy when I say it out loud.  My friends don't comment on my flushed cheeks, though. Thank God. They've finally gotten over teasing me about it.

"At least we'll all still be in the same town once we graduate." Avery says.

"Yeah, and I'm still stuck in the same house as you" Lydia elbows Avery, with a smile on her face. "While Addie over here gets to live with Jack."

"Yeah, I'm pretty happy about that," I smile. "Not just living with Jack, but that we're all living in Sunset Valley."

Jack and I have decided to take the next big step in our lives and buy a house. He's been saving up money for the last year and half working multiple jobs and I'm using some of the money I've earned from my article being published, as well as some of the money Grandma and Grandpa Ainsley left me. I owe so much of my life to the grandparents I've never known. 

Lydia's parents decided to open up a new flower shop in Sunset Valley (after a lot of persuasion from Lydia) and have her run it. So she and Avery decided to find a place together. Turns out, a friend of Avery's family was looking to rent their place so they ended up getting a really nice house for a great deal. 

"Yeah, Sunset Valley is great and all, but I'm going to miss the snow." Avery says with a pout. "We never get snow in Sunset Valley."

"There was that one snow storm when we were like two or three years old, but yeah, we don't get much snow. We can always come back and visit though." I reassure her.

"Good! I don't care how old I get, I will always love to play in the snow."

I laugh as I remember the big snow storm we got this year and how we played outside for hours; making snow angels, building snowmen, and to top it all off, building an igloo. 

"It is a lot of fun". I slide my last piece of pancake around my plate, mopping up all the syrup, before popping it in my mouth. "Thanks for breakfast, Lyd. It was great." I stand up and bring my plate to the sink, rinsing it off. 

"So when do you guys wanna start getting ready for graduation?" I look over my shoulder at Lydia and Avery. "My mom wants us to take some pictures of ourselves here at the house since they won't get here until right before the ceremony."

"Your mom and her pictures." Avery chuckles. "Well, we've got to be at campus in about two hours so we should probably start getting ready. I'm going to go shower and throw on my outfit and then I'll come down and do my makeup in your room." Avery grabs her and Lydia's plates and heads towards me.

I move to the side, leaning against the counter, so Avery can rinse off the plates, and smile to Lydia as she leaves the room. I take a moment to myself, leaning there against that counter, to think of how far we've all come, and how far we've still got to go. I remember my college years; first meeting Lydia and Jack, 

The bonfires, 

The SIDS Fundraiser, 

The first kiss Jack and I shared. 

I take it all in. We talk about how fast life is moving and how it seems like we're finishing the best parts of our lives, but we're not even close to being done. It's frightening and exciting, all at the same time, to think about how much life we've still got left to live.

------

We finish getting ready in my room before taking some pictures of the three of us. When we finish with pictures it's already time for us to head to campus. Avery, Lydia, and I throw on our graduation robes, (which look like something out of Harry Potter) get into Avery's little ford focus, and make the short journey to the University Memorial Stadium where the graduation ceremony will be held. 

We have a few minutes before we have to be inside, so we find a quiet spot by some empty benches where we can enjoy the nice weather and talk. 

"This is it guys! Oh my, God I just can't believe it!" Avery says bouncing up and down with excitement. "After this everything changes. I mean, Addie, you're moving in with Jack and have a job writing for the newspaper. Lyd, you'll be running your own flower shop. And I'll be interning at City Hall!" She looks at Lydia and me, and then bites her lip. "What if... what if nothing is ever going to be as good as it is now, as college has been? What if I'm just not cut out for the real world?"

"Oh Avery! You can't think that way." Lydia puts her hand on Avery's shoulder. "Addie, you're good with words, help me out here."

My brows knit together as I try to think of something profound to say, something that will make her feel better, and my mind takes me to a Ralph Waldo Emerson quote. "What lies behind us, and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." 

Avery and Lydia stare at me, faces blank. 

"Oh come on guys, don't tell me you've never heard that quote before?" I question them, they both shake their heads. "Well, basically I think it means that we shouldn't spend a lot of time worrying about things that have happened in the past, or what might happen in the future. We all have what it takes, we're all strong enough, to overcome whatever has happened or will happen and make our lives positive, happy, and beautiful."

"Yeah, what she said." Lydia smiles and winks at me.

Avery rushes towards me and throws her arms around my shoulders. "I love you, Addie! Thank you for always knowing what to say and being the best friend ever."

"No problem, Avery." I smile and pull away from her, looking both my friends in the eyes. "Just remember, what lies within us. We have the strength to overcome both our past mistakes and our future worries." They smile and I link arms with each of them. "Now let's do this. The future belongs to us."

Together, arm in arm, we walk towards our future. We're filled with excitement, fear, and most of all, strength, to take on whatever may come our way.